Bobby Brown, que data

Autour de Bobby Brown (4 ressources dans Auteurs liés en tant que réalisateur (3) El personaje principal de la película es interpretado por la joven actriz inglesa Millie Bobby Brown, conocida por su rol de Eleven en la serie de Netflix 'Stranger Things'. La adaptación ligera y agradable es protagonizada por la estrella de Stranger Things, Millie Bobby Brown, en una historia sobre su origen que claramente es un intento por comenzar una franquicia ... #SORTEO FINALIZADO ganadores al final de esta publicación 👇🥳 ¿Querés conocer a Millie Bobby Brown? ¡Te invitamos!😎 La actriz acaba de estrenar #EnolaHolmes 🎬 y lo vamos a celebrar con ella y con Louis Partridge en un evento virtual donde van a mostrar videos de la nueva película de #Netflix, fun facts y mucho más 🎉 El fan event será este domingo 27 a las 14hs 🇦🇷 y ... Ela faz o enigma dela! Nesta segunda (17), a Netflix liberou a data de estreia de Enola Holmes, novo filme protagonizado por Millie Bobby Brown na plataforma, de uma forma bem misteriosa. Por aqui ... Millie Bobby Brown está completando 16 anos nesta quarta-feira (19) e como uma boa millennial, aproveitou a data para dar uma boa militada. Brincadeiras à parte, a atriz de Stranger Things usou ... Millie Bobby Brown es una de las actrices jóvenes con un futuro más prometedor gracias a series como Stranger Things, donde interpretó a Once, o más recientemente películas como Enola Holmes. Millie Bobby Brown (born 19 February 2004) is an English actress and model. She rose to prominence for her role as Eleven in the Netflix science fiction drama series Stranger Things (2016), for which she earned a Primetime Emmy Award nomination for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series at age 13. She is also the youngest person ever to feature on TIME 100 list. Millie Bobby Brown ha firmado para protagonizar una adaptación de la novela de la novela The Girls I’ Been de Tess Sharpe, que también producirá junto a Jason Bateman de Ozark. Ella ... Millie Bobby Brown saltó a la fama gracias a su papel de Eleven en Stranger Things. Sin embargo, la actriz se quedó a las puertas de participar en Juego de tronos, un rechazo que h

Dogs (Three Different Ones)

2020.03.03 12:00 LordVelaryon Dogs (Three Different Ones)

Near this spot / Are deposited the Remains of one / Who possessed Beauty without Vanity / Strength without Insolence / Courage without Ferocity / And all the virtues of Man, without his Vices.

Ten thousand years after the first wolves started joining humans not to hunt or be hunted by them, but for the mutual benefit of both, their descendants have their part in every facet of modern life. Football, as the most important of the less important things of it, of course that is also included. So, here are three small stories about dogs and their role in the beautiful game.

1) The last Blitz of Westfalen.

It was a certain Prussian who first named dogs as Man’s best friend. Close to 200 years after that, a Dortmund-born German shepherd called Blitz was exactly that for his master, but not so much for the rest.
Context: the 71st Revierderby. Germany’s most famous derby was different back then. For a start neither the Westfalenstadion nor the Arena AufSchalke were the home of Borussia or the Blueshite yet. No, the match in question was played in the as-old-as-loved Rote Erde, that even in its best days barely could host around 4,000 spectators seated. But it could host practically 10 times that number if the people in the wooden stands decided to stay up the whole match, and it was around that the ones who indeed went there for that fateful night in 1969.
The stadium wasn’t the only different thing. You see, the Revierderby has a curious history. Despite being nowadays a derby that doesn’t has much to envy of the likes of Old Firm or El Clásico, unlike them there isn’t truly essential ideological nor religious reasons that cause such rift between the clubs. On the opposite, just like those of the rest of the Ruhrpott, them and their fanbases are relatively homogeneous, and the geographical distance that once did existed nowadays is negligible.
So, in the very beginning there was no hate between both. What is more, not few Dortmund fans had a soft spot for Schalke in their glory days. After all, both clubs weren’t even real sportive rivals. The BVB barely had modest success in the local lower leagues while the Königsblauen were the jewel of the whole Reich, and no matter if Germany or Argentina or Japan, children and politicians do love to support winners. But times had indeed changed since then, Borussia had grown and Schalke had diminished, and a healthy rivalry was becoming bigger and bigger with each year.
For some, it indeed was what eventually became the Hundebiss what made the rivalry explode. 39,000 spectators had filled Rote Erde, the tickets had been sold out for weeks. The police was forced to concur to the match even if just to avoid pitch invasions that could become avalanches, and it was in that context that the canine friends had their role… and that a Dortmund fan called Wolfgang Musanke saw his oportunity.
Musanke had unsucessfully tried to get a ticket to the derby, but he had a dog of the same breed that the ones used by the police. So, even if it was just for trying it and to not suffer because of the “what if?”, the day of the match he went to the stadium with his dog Blitz tied to his arm, the relevant clothes and a confident attitude. And after some words, both indeed were able to watch the match alongside the stewards and the rest of the dog brigade, over the athletic track between the stands and the pitch.
Until then everything was well, but then the match started. The derby atmosphere was mainly in the stands but the players also did their part, and it was in the 37’ when hell broke loose. Schalke’s Austrian striker Hans Pirkner scored after placing the ball in the angle and the numerous Knappen fans, as stacked as happy, poured in dozens into the pitch to hug their players. The police and the stewards reacted and went to separate them, and in that the dogs had a pivotal role… but unfortunaly they weren’t unmuzzled.
And the dogs, as noble as they can be, are still beasts and don’t difference players from fans, so two Schalke players were bitten. Striker Gerd Neuser was lucky and was it just in the leg, his defender teammate Friedel Rausch wasn’t it so much and received a full bite in his ass. And to make the story even better, the author of it was nobody else than our friend Blitz.
Initially the situation was calm in the sense of that a full riot was able to be avoided. Both players received medical help and a tetanus shot and were able to continue the match (Neuser leg eventually went numb and he had to be subbed off though), and Borussia was able to score and avoid a home defeat. However, that was only the start.
Schalke filled a protest and wanted to be given a 0-3. As usual the DFB wanted to punish BVB too, but eventually both clubs told that they would resolve the conflict in their own terms, so the Federation decided to focus on creating the rules that would introduce fences in German stadiums and the separation of home and away fanbases (and to police dogs to be muzzled). Musanke was catched by the club authorities and was informed that as the master of Blitz he would be the one responsible if Rausch or another victim sued the club, but luckily for him the players weren’t unreasonable and were happy with the compensation of 500 marks and flowers that was offered to them.
Rausch was asked about it some years ago and still tells that he had to sleep over his stomach for two weeks, but of the incident itself only remembers “Excitement after the goal. Then my trousers soaked in blood. And then only voices saying 'Hold the dog'”. The incident though, would make him one of the most famous men in Gelsenkirchen, and people started to salute him in the streets… and not few rivals to bark at him on the pitch.
The offense itself though, wouldn’t be forgotten. And even if the Schalke directives of those years deny it, the fact is that the rivalry, coincidentally or not, started to grow to new (and its present) heights precisely in the years around that match.
And it also can’t be a coincidence that for the return match in the second part of the season, Schalke had invited special guests to receive its neightbours. Two young lions were the honour guard that escorted the players into the pitch. Luckily this time, only laughter and no bites happened.

2) Chilean Dog vs Argentinian Monkey.

"Here lies the noble German shepherd, a beacon of his breed and an example to the whole human race" reads the tombstone, adorned with laurels, of Ron, the dog that gained fame by biting Boca Juniors goalkeeper, Carlos Fernando Navarro Montoya, in a Copa Libertadores semifinal.
It was May of 1991. The biggest Chilean club, Colo Colo, were favourites to win the second most famous club competition in the world. Chileans despite its proud football history just are not as successful as their Argentinian, Brazillian and Uruguayan neighbours, and just like the first Copa America wouldn't be won until 25 years later, back then no Chilean club had won the Libertadores despite having reached various finals already.
However, this one seemed as a golden oportunity, as the favourites -Brazil's Flamengo- had already been eliminated and another one -Uruguay's Nacional- was defeated 4-0 by the Chileans. But there was a small problem, the biggest team of the continent, Boca Juniors, still was there and were their rivals for the semifinals.
Colo Colo fought bravely in Argentina but Boca in La Bombonera is something else, so they lost 1-0. But if anything, the defeat only made the Chileans more anxious and angry. That both countries had a bitter rivalry that almost had ended in a military conflict less than a decade before it didn't help either. The whole country prepared for the return match in Santiago, with even part of Colo Colo rival fans supporting them in their match against the Argentinians.
So, with 70,000 fans in the stands, Colo Colo received a Boca Juniors that had current Uruguay's NT manager Oscar Tabarez as their manager and a certain Batistuta as their #9, with the impossible mission of getting a comeback against a team that hadn't ever been eliminated after winning the first leg of a Libertadores semifinal. Add to the picture that Tabarez plays a style that makes Catenaccio look like peak total football, and you can see that hope wasn't truly rational.
But against all odds, passion, pride and a maybe a bit of a localist refereeing were able to get the miracle. After 65' of attacking the goal defended by the Miguel "Monkey" Montoya was finally breached and conceded two goals in less than 3'. Boca didn't had any other option than attack and having the best Argentinian striker of all times helped them a bit, and 8' after the second Chilean goal they scored the 2-[1] that once again made them qualify to the final.
But Colo Colo didn't surrender and less than 10' after it a goal (that would end being a golden one) was scored, and then was when hell broke loose. Not only fans stormed the pitch, but the hundreds of journalists that were around it also joined the celebrations.
Montoya, always a hot-head, didn't liked this. Not even a bit, although to be fair neither did his usually more calm teammates. Maradona's connationals attacked everybody that invaded the pitch and a riot started. The Argentinian newspaper Clarín later would mention in its article how the match basically ended with "the Monkey punching policemen, Hrabina kicking a photographer in the face, Batistuta doing the same with a fan, Simón covering a TV camera with his hand while insulting the cameraman, and Tabarez shouting in disarray: "I don't want to give you an interview, do you understand? and then the noise of a man rolling down the stairs in the tunnel".
And amongst all of this, appears our friend Ron. Just like Blitz, he was a German shepherd, but unlike him he was actually part of the official police dogs brigade. Nor that such detail would help Mono Montoya, that just like Rausch 12,000 kilometers away, ended being bitten in the ass after the canine friend managed to escape from his police master after he saw him punching a journalist.
The match, that in typical Libertadores fashion already had 8 yellows and 1 red card for Boca at that point, degenerated in a riot that forced the Brazillian referee to end it and send the teams (or most of them, as Tabarez and two players ended arrested) to the dressing rooms. No matter how ugly, Chileans were happy, the victory indeed had been achieved (ironically, Tabarez also would end being a protagonist of a match with an end almost as controversial, the Chile 1-0 Uruguay in the 2015 Copa America)
Ron meanwhile, after being seen bitting the Argentinian keeper in the ass in live TV by the whole country, immediately became the most loved and famous dog that had existed so far, displacing Odysseus' Argos and Scooby Doo. It didn't harmed that even the Chilean Police itself officially lauded his manouver, calling it "an action that helped to control things".
Colo would go to win the final against Paraguay's Olimpia and become the first Chilean team in winning the Libertadores. 30 years later, they still are the only ones to do so. They also are the only team to eliminate Boca after losing the first leg of a semifinal.
Ron itself indeed had a glorious life but sadly a short one, dying of a heart attack less than 5 years after that in a training when he still was a pretty young dog. Not few Argentinians would banter Montoya about how maybe that was related to something the poor dog contracted after the bite. He would end being buried with military honours in the cementery that the Chilean police has for its human members, and with a statue being erected in his honour that is visited by Colo Colo fans every year.
In the aniversary of his death of 2 years ago, Colo Colo's official account oficially remembered him as "the dog that now is in Heaven biting goalkeepers"

3) Pickles the dog is a very good boy.

(As this is getting too long, and as The Guardian article by Scott Murray I originally read about it is better than anything I could do, I will just transcribe it. Hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.)
The Jules Rimet trophy went walkies in March 1966. Upon discovering that the most precious prize in world football had been snatched from under their hapless noses, the folk at the Football Association responded in a manner that couldn’t have been more English had their press release been soaked in weak milky tea. “The FA deeply regrets this most unfortunate incident,” began their clipped, haughty study in brazen understatement. “It inevitably brings discredit to both the FA and this country.”
They’d struck the right tone with that last bit, at least. The FA was way out of the good books for losing the cup. “I’m damned angry!” spluttered Erik von Frenckell, honorary president of the Finnish FA. Abrain Tebet of the Brazilian Sports Confederation was even more strident. “Even Brazilian thieves love football and would never commit this sacrilege! It would never have happened in Brazil.” Oh Abrain! No good will ever come of talk like this.
Still, you can understand the sentiment. In retrospect, security arrangements for the 12-inch solid-gold representation of Nike, Greek goddess of victory, perched delicately on a precious hunk of lapis lazuli, were not all they could have been. The FA had released the cup for display at a stamp exhibition in Central Hall, Westminster, on the “strict written understanding that it would be displayed in a glass showcase”. They also insisted that a guard would be posted alongside, night and day. No corners cut, what with England about to stage the eighth World Cup.
The stipulations were rigorously met. Sort of. Almost. “Our instructions were that the cup was to be kept under personal observation, certainly during the time the exhibition was open, during daylight,” explained exhibition chairman Cecil Richardson. “We had two guards standing by it all the time. The pressure of security was not considered quite so serious when the hall was closed to the public.”
Having reasoned that robbers were far less likely to attempt a heist when nobody was around to witness it, the guards kicked back on the morning of Sunday 20th. Though there was a Methodist service being held in another part of the building, the stamp exhibition itself was shut. Plus there was a wooden bar across the door at the rear of the hall and a little lock on the showcase, which was also covered at the back by a heavy hessian sheet. Hourly checks would suffice!
Somehow, the UK’s answer to Fort Knox was breached between the regular tour of inspection at 11am, when the cup was there, and the following tour at midday, when the cup was not. The wooden bar was found on the floor alongside two screws which had held it to the wall. The lock had been forced. And the burlap curtain showed signs of having been slightly ruffled. One of the guards had reportedly spotted a stranger with “greased black hair brushed back flat” and “thin lips” milling around the hall by a public phone just after 11, but he was on his way to the loo when he made the sighting, and potty takes precedence.
The head of Alsa-Guard Security Services, the firm hired by the exhibition to look after Nike, insisted with a Trumpian flourish that his guards had been positioned “alongside, very alongside” the showcase. However when pressed he became evasive. “Look lads, don’t try to tie me down to geographical details.” Richardson also worked a little wriggle room, on the one hand absurdly claiming that “nothing went wrong, it was just stolen” while also musing philosophically that “we all have room for human error, and perhaps a little human error may have crept in”.
The search to find the cup proved equally farcical. “In the Metropolitan police we have the most brilliant detectives,” claimed crime prevention officer chief inspector Paterson. “The World Cup organisers are hoping this is so.” Fingers were duly crossed. But just in case blind faith wasn’t enough, several rewards were offered for the trophy’s recovery. The Gillette razor company stumped up £500. City loss adjusters Toplis and Harding chipped in £3,000. Walter Max, a London osteopath who for more than a quarter of a century had treated many top footballers, contributed 150 guineas. Tommy Trinder, chairman of Fulham, promised to give £1,000 to any lucky person who returned the cup to him at the Latin Quarter nightclub on Wardour Street, where he was the resident comic.
In the meantime, FA chairman Joe Mears was contacted on Monday 21st by Jackson, a fidgety type who said a parcel was on its way and that enclosed instructions should be followed. Mears took delivery of a small part of the trophy, plus a note demanding £15,000 in used oncers in exchange for the rest of it. Jackson would pick up the cash at a Friday 25th rendezvous with Mears, then send Nike winging back to him the day after.
Sadly the stress got to Mears, who suffered from angina and repaired to bed on the day of the meet. Detective inspector Len Buggy of the Flying Squad went instead, and the operation quickly degenerated into Big Lebowski farce. Jackson didn’t notice that Buggy’s suitcase, supposedly full of banknotes, mainly contained scraps of old newspaper. But he did clock a nearby van, and correctly surmised it was full of peelers. He tried to make a break for it but was arrested and uncovered as Edward Betchley, a Camberwell “dealer” with a previous conviction for handling knock-off corned beef. Betchley was charged with stealing the cup but flatly denied all knowledge, claiming a man only known to him as The Pole had paid him £500 to act as go-between.
That same evening, a phone rang at the Times. A voice claimed that the World Cup was “in a brown suitcase in the left luggage office at Charing Cross”. But this proved a hoax. So where on earth was it? There were no leads … except the one 26-year-old Thames docker David Corbett was desperately trying to attach to his collie’s collar two nights later, Sunday 27th, lest the excitable little scamp sprint across Beulah Hill, a leafy road in Upper Norwood, south London.
As Corbett fiddled with the leash, Pickles stuck his snout under a nearby bush. “I was about to put his lead on when I noticed he was sniffing at something near the path,” Corbett explained. “I looked down and saw the parcel. It was wrapped in newspaper. I picked it up, it was very weighty. I tore one end off; a base. I tore the other end off: a gold figure! I still didn’t realise what it was. I went back to the base and turned it round. It said Brazil 1962, and it suddenly all came to me.” Corbett rushed inside to show it to his wife Jean, then took it to Gypsy Hill nick. He made sure to tell the astonished constables that “Pickles saw it first, the little darling!”
Pickles became a national hero overnight. He was awarded a solid silver medal by lieutenant-colonel Alexander Hendrick ‘Rosie’ Roosmalecocq, secretary of the National Canine Defence League – now the Dogs Trust – in a posh ceremony at a swish Kensington hotel. He also received a silver platter covered in cash totalling £53, the result of a whip-round by hotel staff, and a brown rubber bone to chew. A year’s supply of free dog food also came his way, plus a trot-on part in Galton and Simpson’s comic caper The Spy with the Cold Nose. His stardom ensured he was paid double the normal doggie rate.
Corbett had to wait a little longer for his treats. Mears had put his name forward for the rewards – “Why should Corbett claim it, when you have had all the worry?” his wife had argued – but withdrew his claim when it became clear Toplis and Harding weren’t going to recognise it. Corbett eventually trousered the best part of £6,000; by way of comparison, England’s players were paid £1,360 each in bonuses for winning the cup.
Mears never saw Bobby Moore lift the trophy Pickles rescued. He succumbed to his heart condition on the eve of the finals aged 61. It would be harsh to remember him solely for his unfortunate role in this fiasco: he was, after all, the man in charge of security for Winston Churchill’s underground operation room at Whitehall during the war, and that didn’t work out so badly. Poor Pickles also met a premature end, choking on his lead while chasing a cat in 1967. As for Nike herself? She was stolen in 1983 from the headquarters of the Brazilian FA, which had been given her to cherish for eternity after Brazil’s third win in 1970. The trophy was never seen again, presumably melted down. Oh Abrain! You had to say it, didn’t you!

That's it. Hope that you like it. Do your club or nation has any remarkable story about football and dogs? Please share them!

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2019.04.01 23:21 venkys-out Fitba Roundup: SPFL Gameweeks 28-31

I took a month-long break from writing these every week, but after the events of this weekend I’ve realised I just can’t stay away from the global entertainment phenomenon that is Scottish football.
As well as being extremely busy, part of the motivation behind this hiatus of mine was the nonsense that followed Brendan Rodgers’ departure from Celtic to Leicester City, despite him saying that he didn’t see it as a stepping stone, and that it was his dream job. Whilst according to the average /soccer user, this cemented the Scottish Premiership’s status as a diddy league unworthy of following, it DID provide an opportunity to examine Celtic’s support’s journey through the 5 stages of grief. First there was denial, then anger, before depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance that Moussa Dembélé was right all along.
Elsewhere, it’s brown trousers time for fans of Hamilton, Dundee, and St Mirren; and the race for a top 6 place - and a chance at European football - is going to go down to the wire.
A timeline of all of the patter in the SPFL, and results from the last month in the Scottish Premiership ‘reported’ below, taking a more detailed look at this weekend’s fixtures, and results from the Scottish Cup, the Challenge Cup final, and the national team’s Euro 2020 qualifying games (as much as it pains me to do so).
I’m not going to go into copious detail with every result, because there’s a good 30-something games to discuss, but there will be at least highlights of every game, just a click away.

Wednesday 27/02/19

Hearts 1 - 2 Celtic
Neil Lennon’s first match as caretaker manager for Celtic was a visit to his previous team’s city rivals. He was greeted by two banners, one from the Green Brigade directed at Brendan Rodgers reading “You traded immortality for mediocrity. Never a Celt. Always a fraud.”, and one from Hearts fans reading “Brendan Rodgers is here for 10 in a row”.
Once again the fans were centre of attention at Tynecastle, with Celtic’s support lobbing a coin at Bobby Zlamal, and Hearts’ support producing the staunchest tribute act of 2019.
If there’s a moment in this season where Hibs and Celtic fans have been united in tweeting “inject this into my veins”, it will have been when Odsonne Edouard’s 92nd-minute winner against 10-man Hearts provoked this reaction on the touchline.
St Johnstone 1 - 2 Hibernian
The official SPFL YouTube channel’s description for the highlights of this match does it more justice than I ever could - “Florian Kamberi went down as if "hit by a 40-foot truck" to win the spot kick that set Hibernian on course for a third consecutive win”.
Meanwhile, the BBC still can’t differentiate between former Hibs forward Dominique Malonga and current loanee Stéphane Omeonga.
You can watch the aforementioned highlights here.
Aberdeen 0 - 2 Hamilton Academical
Since awful home performances from Aberdeen are no longer remarkable, this game should exclusively be remembered for George Oakley’s Marco van Basten-esque wondergoal, and little else.
Rangers 4 - 0 Dundee
A solid performance from Rangers who went into half-time 3-0 up against a struggling Rangers.
Kilmarnock PSTP Motherwell
This game was postponed on account of no-one, including the players, being able to see a thing. Sorry, Motherwell defender Charles Dunne.

Saturday 02/03/19

Scottish Premiership

St Mirren 1 - 0 Livingston
What a huge result this is for the Buddies, courtesy of an 89th minute goal from Ryan Flynn! This result put them one point behind Dundee.
Kilmarnock 0 - 0 Motherwell
Worth the wait, then. 8 games without a win for Kilmarnock at this point.
Highlights for the morbidly curious.

Scottish Cup - Quarter-finals

Hibernian 0 - 2 Celtic
Without meaning for this to turn into a Scottish Football Fan Trouble Roundup, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that a bottle of Buckfast, or Bucks Fizz if you’re the Mail, was thrown at Scott Sinclair whilst it was 0-0, in the first of two incidents of bampot behaviour at Easter Road within the next week.
Not sure it quite had the desired effect, mind, as shortly after two belters from James Forrest and Scott Brown did the business for Celtic.
Full highlights with commentary.

Sunday 03/03/19

Aberdeen 1 - 1 Rangers
Having been sent off in his previous three matches against Aberdeen, Alfredo Morelos was welcomed back to Pittodrie by a banner reading “Morelos tu madre es un colchón”, or in Scots: “Morelos yer maw’s a mattress”. The Daily Record, of course, seeing this as just as offensive as the fans who fling bottles and coins at players and managers.
Sam Cosgrove had the Dons ahead from the penalty spot, but was at fault as Joe Worrall snuck in the equaliser shortly after half-time, forcing a replay. Full highlights with commentary.
Dundee United 1 - 2 Inverness CT
Brilliant late drama as wee Aaron Doran headed in a goal in stoppage time to book Caley Thistle’s place in the semi-final, in a game which they dominated. After beautiful goal from Joe Chalmers put ICT ahead, United were equal through a contentious penalty converted by Nicky Clarke. Inverness had the ball in the net again before the winner, but Nathan Austin had been ruled offside. Overall, ICT worthy winners.
Full highlights.

Monday 04/03/19

Partick Thistle 1 - 1
A hilarious performance from Hearts on account of how predictable it was; totally dominant with no end product beyond Christophe Berra’s 12th-minute opener, which was cancelled out by Christie Elliot on the counter attack an hour later. Uche Ikpeazu almost scored one of the competition’s greatest ever goals before half-time, and if he had, that most likely would have been it for Partick. However, they managed to force the replay, along with Aberdeen and Rangers, although neither game could be broadcast, because UEFA want you to watch the Champions League.
Full highlights with commentary.

Friday 08/03/19

Hibernian 1 - 1 Rangers
Rangers fans retaliated to the Morelos banner they saw at Pittodrie by coming up with a Spanish banner of their own, reading “de asientos vacios a ovejas que abusan sexualmente Aberdeen FC”, or in English: “of empty seats for sheep who sexually abuse Aberdeen FC”.
With the spotlight on fan behaviour as much as ever before, weeks of incidents were capped off by a moronic Hibs fan running onto the pitch trying to start on James Tavernier, before shiteing it as soon as Tavernier stood up against him.
Rangers totally dominated, and Hibs could have been down to 10 men within as many minutes if Darren McGregor had been sent off for his elbow on Morelos. Morelos couldn’t take his chances, and Rangers couldn’t take their chance to close the gap on Celtic, with Florian Kamberi equalising with 75 minutes played. Darren McGregor was eventually sent-off after all, for a second yellow in stoppage time.

Saturday 09/03/19

Livingston 3 - 1 St Johnstone
Two teams who haven’t really got going in 2019, but fair play to Livingston for responding in such a way to going down after Joe Shaughnessy’s early opener.
Celtic 0 - 0 Aberdeen
Aberdeen’s Scott McKenna may have been linked with Celtic in the summer, but before this game he announced he’d signed a deal with Trump International instead. A bold choice when you consider how popular Trump is in Aberdeen (not very) and also the world (not very).
This fixture is normally a bit of a goal-fest, with the last match between the two sides being a 3-4 Celtic win, but I put a bet on both teams to score, so it’s the first goalless draw since 1994.
Motherwell 3 - 0 Hamilton Academical
The two previous Lanarkshire derbies have been fiercely competitive, with Hamilton victorious when visiting Fir Park, and Motherwell taking the 3 points from the Hope CBD.
This game, however, was all but over in 10 minutes, with a David Turnbull brace putting daylight between the two teams, before Jake Hastie finished Accies off 25 minutes later.

Monday 11/03/19

St Mirren 0 - 1 Kilmarnock
Sickener for St Mirren, but an 87th minute goal from Liam Millar has ended Kilmarnock’s rotten run of 8 games without a win.

Tuesday 12/03/19 - Quarter-final replays

Rangers 0 - 2 Aberdeen
In part three of the epic saga, Aberdeen fans somehow managed to smuggle a blow-up mattress into Ibrox before this match.; yet, despite his best efforts to play as dirty as possible, Morelos managed to break his personal best, and go 2 games in a row without being sent-off against Aberdeen this season.
Game plan executed to perfection for Aberdeen as Niall McGinn capitalised on a dodgy Glen Kamara pass, and Conor McLennan rounded the result off an hour later.
Hearts 2 - 1
Shortly after Hearts meandered to a 1-1 draw with Thistle in the original fixture, their reserve team pumped Thistle’s 9-1, as if to rub salt into the wound.
Hearts went behind to a tap-in from Scott McDonald, but goals from Uche Ikpeazu and Sean Clare were the difference in the end.

Saturday 16/03/19

Hamilton Academical 1 - 0 Hearts
Sad news for Scottish football, after it was revealed that the Hope CBD Stadium, so-called after a cannabis oil company purchased the naming rights to New Douglas Park, would be renamed after just 6 months to the even more eccentric “Fountain of Youth Stadium”. This all comes after they were randomly disrespected by Lord Sugar on Twitter. Tough times to be an Accies fan for sure.
All of this was not enough to prevent Accies from getting one over Hearts, though, with Aaron McGowan’s goal the difference between the two sides.
This result also validates the first words in four months from 22 year old stroke victim Darren Thompson - “Hearts are shite.”
Aberdeen 1 - 1 Livingston
Another astonishingly insipid home performance from Aberdeen and possibly the coldest I’ve ever been at a football match.
Hibernian 2 - 0 Motherwell
Unfortunately ‘due to technical issues’ Hibs were unable to serve chips at Easter Road for this game.. Annoyingly, neither of Marc McNulty or David Gray’s goals were dinked over the keeper, as Hibs put some much-needed distance between themselves and an in-form Motherwell side.
Rangers 1 - 1 Kilmarnock
Before this match Rangers fans took to the offices of BBC Scotland in protest (I’m assuming?) against the unfair treatment they get on Sportscene.
Kilmarnock went ahead through Conor McAleny, who replaced an injured Eamonn Brophy, but Alfredo Morelos was able to equalise. Neither side will be entirely content with a draw, I feel.

Sunday 17/03/19

Dundee 0 - 1 Celtic
If you’re not willing to wait 96 minutes for goals, there was at least some entertainment in this game, as a man jumped down off one of the stands to chase after his tricolour that had just been confiscated by a steward.
If you do like waiting 96 minutes for your goals, then you were in luck, as that’s how long it took Odsonne Edouard to break the deadlock. No damage yet to Celtic’s plot armour.

Thursday 21/03/19

European Championship Qualifying

Kazakhstan 3 - 0 Scotland
All in all a very bad week for the Scottish men’s national football team. First we get absolutely done by the Northern Irish FA on twitter, and then we go on to get absolutely humiliated by Kazakhstan in our first qualifier. God help us.
Alex McLeish did remark that we started brightly, which is funny considering that we were 2-0 down within 10 minutes. There’s also this weird interview with Graeme Jones where he explains why the squad decided not to try to adjust to the different time-zones. Not sure the priorities are quite right in the Scotland camp.
The only highlight of the game as far as I’m concerned is when Sky lost pictures from Astana, but if you really want to see us get absolutely outclassed, then you can do so here.

Saturday 23/03/19

Scottish Challenge Cup

Connah’s Quay Nomads 1 - 3 Ross County
After a player of the round performance from Ross Stewart gave us the most Scottish photoshoot ever - without featuring a kilt or bagpipes - and helped Ross County into the Challenge Cup final, the country of Scotland could put their international misery behind them for a day to watch a Welsh team almost win the final of a Scottish cup competition.
The Nomads went ahead thanks to Michael Bakare 20 minutes in; it took until the 75th minute for County to turn it around. A quickfire double from Josh Mullin gave the Staggies the lead, before Jamie Lindsay secured what may not be Ross County’s last silverware of the season - they look likely to return to the Premiership as Champions.

Sunday 24/03/19

San Marino 0 - 2 Scotland
Where were you when Scotland went 70 minutes without scoring in San Marino? Would you like to experience it all over again? From Kenny McLean’s 4th minute opener, Johnny Russell’s almost-disappointing second goal, and that one moment where they got round the keeper and we actually thought they might score - relive it all here!
Finally, we continue with some action that actually happened this week.

Wednesday 27/03/19

St Johnstone 1 - 0 St Mirren
In the context of the whole season this doesn’t look like a bad result at all, but St Mirren will feel this is an awful point or three to drop.
The Buddies had the chance to go a goal ahead, but Simeon Jackson opted to try a weird panenka along the ground from his spot-kick, which Zander Clark had no trouble with. I mean it’s not as if it could all come down to one goal or one point for St Mirren at the end of the season, anyway.
Shortly after, Chris Kane put St Johnstone ahead by pouncing on a defensive error. Had Jackson’s penalty gone in, and the score remained the same, St Mirren would have been off the bottom before their must-win match against Dundee. They’ll be without Ethan Erhahon for that match after he was given a straight red for a poor tackle late in the match. Architects of their own downfall in this match, St Mirren.

Friday 29/03/19

Livingston 1 - 2 Hibernian
Livingston won’t have any worries of relegation, which is a miracle in itself considering how poor value they looked at the very beginning of the season. Meanwhile Hibs will have known that they could easily fall out of the top 6 with any missteps at this crucial point in the season.
Craig Halkett missed this match through an injury sustained prior to the game, and it was announced today he’d be leaving Livingston for Hearts at the end of the season - with this I reckon he’ll make the Scotland squad for the next series of international games.
In the end, goals from Paul Hanlon and Mark McNulty killed the game off in the space of 5 minutes, and Ryan Hardie’s late penalty was only a consolation for Livingston.

Saturday 30/03/19

St Mirren 2 - 1 Dundee
St Mirren may have been their own worst enemy in the middle of the week, but what a performance and result this is for them - and one which could well be fatal for Dundee.
Dundee went ahead after just 22 seconds through Ethan Robson, which could easily have destroyed any hopes St Mirren had of taking something out of the game, but Danny Mullen scored his third goal of the season - his third against Dundee - to reignite the Buddies’ hopes just 11 minutes later.
The winning goal came courtesy of speccy tube Brad Lyons, affording him the opportunity to premiere his speccy tube celebration in Saturday’s best exhibition of patter.
St Mirren leapfrog Dundee, and are looking much more likely to increase that gap at the moment than Dundee are to close it.
Motherwell 3 - 0 St Johnstone
This result confirms St Johnstone’s bottom 6 placement, and keeps Motherwell’s alive by a sliver.
Chris Cadden returning to the Motherwell bench will be a cause for optimism, and Motherwell looked improved when he came on, with Elliot Frear’s opener occurring 6 minutes after his substitution into the game, and David Turnbull doubling the lead 10 minutes later. Liam Craig had an early penalty saved for St Johnstone, and Richard Tait added a third to complete Saints’ capitulation in stoppage time.
Hearts 2 - 1 Aberdeen
Aberdeen remained without Shay Logan through injury, although he did pull on a kit for his stag do.
They went ahead thanks to Connor McLennan in the first half, but came out after the interval with apparently very little idea of how to play football. Sean Clare and Uche Ikpeazu got on the scoresheet to complete the Hearts comeback.
How it feels to be an Aberdeen fan right now can be summarised by Derek McInnes’ decision in the 86th minute to bring on centre-back Michael Devlin for our only dangerous attacker, Connor McLennan, in a Steven Caulker-esque move. I despair.
Kilmarnock 5 - 0 Hamilton
One of the most notable differences between Brian Rice’s Accies and his predecessor Martin Canning’s side is that Rice has set up much less defensively. As such, his side have been on the end of some right pumpings.
Highly-rated left-back prospect Greg Taylor scored his first ever goal for Kilmarnock, before a second half rout saw four other players on the scoresheet - Conor McAleny, Youssouf Mulumbu, Chris Burke, and Mikael Ndjoli.
This result means that Kilmarnock overtake Aberdeen into third, and will look to hold on to this European place. The job Steve Clarke has done is pretty incredible. Hamilton will be looking cautiously at St Mirren and Dundee beneath them.

Sunday 31/03/19

Celtic 2 - 1 Rangers
You already know how this one went down.
One man whose name shot up in the estimations of 95% of /soccer yesterday is a certain Scott Brown. The events of this match almost entirely revolved around him.
After Odsonne Édouard opened the scoring, the first notable incident involving Brown was the Celtic captain baiting Alfredo Morelos into elbowing him in the face, and laughing at him as he walked off back down the tunnel.
Ryan Kent levelled magically for Rangers, and Celtic too went down to 10 men after Dedryck Boyata went off-injured after their third sub.
When James Tavernier nonchalantly enabled James Forrest’s 86th-minute winner, Brown’s gameplaying saw him get punched in the face by Ryan Kent, which seems to have made both players more of a hero to each side.
Andy Halliday was then sent-off after trying to brawl in the tunnel, just before Brown gave a brilliant post-match interview where he claims not to remember what happened with Kent, and that the post-match scuffle with Halliday was just the Rangers man coming over to congratulate him.
All things considered, a good day for shithousing.
So after all that, the table looks as follows:


Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts Form
1 Celtic 31 23 4 4 69 17 +52 73 WWDWW
2 Rangers 31 17 9 5 67 24 +43 60 LDDWW
3 Kilmarnock 31 15 9 7 44 28 +16 54 WDWDL
4 Aberdeen 31 15 7 9 47 36 +11 52 LDDLW
5 Hearts 31 15 5 11 37 36 +1 50 WLWLD
6 Hibernian 31 13 9 9 47 33 +14 48 WWDWW
7 Motherwell 31 13 4 14 36 41 -5 43 WLWDL
8 St Johnstone 31 12 5 14 30 42 -12 41 LWLLL
9 Livingston 31 10 8 13 33 33 0 38 LDWLW
10 Hamilton Academical 31 7 3 20 20 66 -46 24 LWLWL
11 St Mirren 31 5 5 21 23 58 -35 20 WLWDD
12 Dundee 31 4 6 21 25 64 -39 18 LLLLL
Championship Round
Relegation Round
That was a lot so thanks for giving it a read. See yous next Monday for more of the same!
Check out /ScottishFootball for good patter and discussion of the SPFL
Last week’s matches were rounded up here
● data from
● thanks mods for 2soccer2bot but it’s still broken
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2018.10.12 17:17 veeno__ An Updated Definitive List of the Bodega Boy's Aliases — Part 3!

Shout out to u/Misanthropia for the original post — the hive needed a more updated art!
This list is current as of episode 153 (4/15/19)
Desus goes by numerous aliases on the Bodega Boys Podcast. These aliases are based on references to pop culture, sports, and hip hop. The long and ever-changing list of aliases or "AKAs" are one of the many running gags on the show. During an interview with Method Man on Desus and Mero, Desus explained that the idea for aliases was based on the alter-egos of the rappers in the song "Wu-Gambinos" on the album Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... by Wu-Tang Clan member Raekwon. (info via Wikipedia)
With the change to Milk Studios, the AKAs are now at the end of every podcast instead of before and after.
Desus is extremely consistent with his aliases, almost always presenting them in the exact same order and without any exclusions:
Desus Nice - In a Hot 97 interview on April 13th 2017, Desus explains that people started calling him Desus as a play on his government name, "Daniel", and "Jesus", because he worked miracles with people's computers
Young Chipotle – Desus’ original alias, he explains in one podcast that it originates from when he was broke and buying Chipotle was a genuine treat
Pockets stay fat like Terio (Pockets stay fat like 'here we go') – A reference to viral star Terio, a young, obese African American boy whose videos of him dancing launched him to very brief viral fame. Recently, Desus added the more politically correct and kid friendly “here we go”
Eli Litby – A play on Eli Whitney, inventor of the cotton gin
Boutros Boutros Gully – A play on Boutros Boutros-Ghali, former Secretary-General of the UN, “Gully” being Jamaican Patois for an impoverished area
Slobodan Might-know-ya-bitch – A play on Slobodan Milosevic, former President of Serbia and important player in the Bosnian War
Young Day Party – I believe this was adopted in the summer of 2016 after Desus recounted the story of a day party in D.C., which seemed to invigorate his love for partying during the day
Young Hot Take – He has hot takes, pretty obvious here
Desus H. Fuego – Another moniker to describe his hot (“fuego”) takes on topics
Mr. Nandos with a rando - Nandos is a portuguese chicken restaurant chain which originated in South Africa and is big in the UK and Australia. Rando is slang for random person. Having Nandos with a rando is eating chicken with a random person (credit to u/deweez)
Mr. Mil Novecientos Noventa Y Cuatro en Nueva York – In later episodes Desus rarely adds the “en Nueva York” bit, but it translates to “Mr. 1994 in New York”. "The Knicks team in 1994 made the finals and is a legendary team amongst all Knicks fans who were around at the time. That team got to game 7 of the finals against the Rockets. NYC rallied around that team hard body because that team absolutely embodied NYC to a T with guys like Ewing, Charles Oakley, Mason, Starks, and Derek Harper." (credit to u/Okieant33)
Mikhail Goin-off – A play on Mikhail Prokhorov, the Russian owner of the Brooklyn Nets (credit to u/Okieant33)
The Jouvert Boss – “Jouvert” is a carnival held in Caribbean/West Indian culture, involving a lot of partying
MC Likkle Gungo Pea - Gungo pea is a type of peas (also known as pigeon peas) often used in Jamaican dishes. Reference to his Jamaican heritage (credit to u/hopelessromcom)
"Pullin' up from 40 with your shorty" – Desus will “pull up”, or make a pass at, your girl even when the odds are slim or unlikely, much like a 40 foot shot in basketball
"Don’t talk to me in the Uber Pool, I don’t know you" – Uber introduced a service where you can share rides with other Uber users for a discounted rate. Desus has expressed his reluctance to engage with strangers when he is using it
The original “my plus one got a plus one so don’t make a fuss son” – When Desus shows up to an event with a girl, he brings two, and he's intimating that the host shouldn’t have a problem with that
Desus Rothstein, the Jamaican Jew – Originated around when Mero began his house search in Bergen County, NJ where a number of wealthy people of Jewish descent live. Desus envisions a version of himself who would fit in there
Jermaine Avocado Toast – Desus has gotten more cultured as a result of their success, and as such he has been able to indulge in things usually enjoyed by privileged white people, a stereotypical example of that being avocado toast. This is Desus’ gentrified, hipster persona
Young PA - Possible reference to the sound of small amount of air being expelled from a loose butthole, which is an impression Mero occasionally does (credit to u/jimsternub). This is also a reference to Brooklyn rapper Young MA.
The Ghost of Mufasa – A reference to Lion King, but beyond that I have no idea why he adopted it. Still hilarious though, and the nickname that most often makes Mero laugh
Young Charcuterie without the coonery – Charcuterie is considered very hip and trendy right now, and Desus is again saying he has a taste for the finer things, but is no longer interested in “coonery”, a derogatory term used to describe stereotypical African American behavior
Chile Limon, the left handed reliever for the Yankee’s (Que lo que?) – A fictional persona that seems to be a Latino version of Dock Ellis, who famously threw a no hitter while high on Acid. Chile Limon is also a popular seasoning/flavor with the Latino community
3 Phone Jones – Desus originally adopted "2 Phone Jones" after he reluctantly bought an iPhone to go with his Samsung Galaxy. He then received a Google Pixel, making it 3 Phone Jones (credit to u/ArtSorr0w)
Desus Ex Machina – A play on the common plot device “deus ex machina”, or “god from the machine” in which an unsolvable problem is suddenly resolved by some unexpected intervention. Desus also used to have a tumblr entitled "Desus Ex Machina" (credit to u/hardcore9)
Jay Chuckles - Revealed in episode 55 to be a reference to a now-defunct shoe store in NYC. Did Desus read this thread?
Stanley Cups - Desus' former rap alias, as revealed in episode 53.
The Human Dr. Bronner’s Label (Dilute! Dilute! Dilute!) – A reference to the concentrated soap Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap, which needs to be diluted. I didn’t quite understand how Desus applied this to himself, but it came from a joke in Episode 51 or 52 about Sean Spicer trying to defray controversy surrounding President Trump's decisions
Dionardo DiTrappio – A play on “Leonardo DiCaprio”, the actor, but referencing “trapping”, a slang for selling drugs.
Mr. 240p because I like my Pino blurry – Desus longs for the days of very low resolution pornography. 240p refers to the resolution, which is extremely low by modern standards
DJ Woolite AKA You're listening to Washed FM up next we got 24 hours of – The host of the fictional station “Washed FM”, a fictional radio station that is sometimes referenced along with “WSMK, Smack City Radio”. Woolite is a brand of fabric softener. Desus said multiple times on the podcast that now that he's single and living alone, he washes his clothes with extra fabric softener. As a kid, his clothes would get washed and be hard as nails. Again, he's got a taste for the finer things in life. (credit to u/Okieant33)
The Curried G.O.A.T – A double reference to Desus’s Jamaican heritage, where Curried Goat is a popular culinary item, as well as referencing the phrase “G.O.A.T”, short for “greatest of all time”
Desus Spicer – A play on the former White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, who is often referenced on Desus & Mero as “spicing up” or “adding spice” to his takes
Jamal Hashburn - A play on Jamal Mashburn, a former NBA player, about Hash
The Bronx Celine Dion - ???
Wray and Nephew's Nephew - A play on J. Wray and Nephew rum, which has its origins in Jamaica like Desus. Also, Desus drinks a lot, which you probably should have figured out by now. Introduced in episode 58
The Moreno you can't contain-o - A play on "moreno", a Spanish term for someone with dark skin
The Human Meme, Word to Ja - A play on Ja Rule's infamous mistake of believing that the word "meme" is pronounced "may-may"
Young Erewhon - A reference to a bourgeois health food store in LA, which makes this nickname in the vein of "Jermaine Avocado Toast", demonstrating Desus' taste for finer things now. Credit to u/a-1-since-day-1
The Racist Provocateur - Desus flipped an angry tweet from April 28th 2017, in which someone called him a "racist provocateur" into a new alias
Henrik Bud-qvist - A play on NHL goalie Henrik Lundqvist, who currently plays for the New York Rangers
Nelson Bang-dela - An old alias resurrected in episode 65, a play on South African civil right's icon Nelson Mandela
Sergio Can't-see-me - A play on Sergio Tacchini, an Italian fashion designer and former Tennis player
Vladimir Boofin' - A play on Russian president Vladimir Putin, "boofin" being a reference to smuggling something by sticking it inside one's rectum
The Human Werther's, melting in your mouth - A reference to Werther's Originals, a brand of caramel hard candies favored by old people. Not really sure what this one means otherwise.
Mr. Becks on Deckington - The first time Desus introduced this one, he accidentally said "Mr. Becky's on Deckington" which was an incredible Freudian slip since Desus has been accused of not being into black women, and "Becky" is the stereotypical white woman name in pop culture. This is a reference to Desus always drinking Beck's, a cheap beer he favors along with Heineken. Adding "-ington" to words is New York slang, as Mero explains at some point.
Rikki-Tikki-Squad-bi - A play on Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, a character from the Jungle Book
Greg "Paaa"-povitch - A very meta play on San Antonio Spur's coach Greg Popovich and the onomatopoeia of spreading butt cheeks apart (according to Mero)
Morris "Say it with your chest"-nut - A play on actor Morris Chestnut
Mahatma Gone-B - A play on famed pacifist Mahatma Gandi
Not Macka B but I got the cucumber - A reference to a viral video in which Reggae artist Macka B raps about healthy food in his "medical monday" series, Desus is unsurprisingly referencing his penis
The juices are pressed but your boy never is - Being "pressed" means someone is applying pressure to you, and no one would do that to Desus. The juices he is talking about are probably the morning drink he has with lemongrass and cayenne pepper that he makes reference to many times in recent episodes of the podcast.
I am the Art, dammit! - Not sure if this is a reference to anything specific or just a Kanye-esque line a crazed creative might yell out at some point
The Don Dada Ganoush - I believe this is a reference to the Meditteranean dish Baba Ganoush, "Don Dada" is Jamaican Patois slang (I believe) for “top pimp” or “big player” and a sort-of homophone for "baba"
No more Cup of Noodles - I don't know if this is a reference beyond the fact that Cup of Noodles is a struggle meal and Desus is no longer struggling
The Prince of Peckham - A reference to Peckham, a diverse neighborhood in London
The Fashion Nova Casanova - Fashion Nova is an online clothing retailer that specifically targets curvy women that Desus and Mero reference pejoratively (saying it's for bottle waitresses), Desus is saying here that he excels at seducing these kind of women ("Casanova" is a term of a man who excels at seducing women derived from the name of Italian Giacomo Casanova)
William H. 5 Cent, 10 Cent, Dolla... Forget the small change, give me the the big money wine - A reference to Soca Boys song "Dollar Wine (one cent, five cent, ten cent, dollar)" which apparently was super popular in the West Indies. "William H Holla is something Jay-Z used to call himself back in his hey day. It comes from the fact that Bill Gates' full name is William Henry Gates. Jay-Z used to give himself nicknames back in the day. J-Hova caught on but he used the term William H Holla because Jay-Z also coined the phrase "Holla At Me" and "Holla Back" and just shortened it to "Holla". So put the two together and you have William H Holla. He first said it on the song "Stick to the Script" off the Dynasty album. So Desus took it and made it his own." (credit to u/Okieant33)
The only anthem I salute is Dipset - A reference to the ongoing national anthem protests in the NFL, Desus is saying the only anthem he salutes is "Dipset Anthem" by Harlem rap legends The Diplomats
Mister Sauga, Catch me at Square One Top Left. Mans is marved. (Dont cheese me bro) - Finally a Canadian-centric reference, which makes sense given that the Bodega Boys have performed there multiple times. This is a reference to the Square One Shopping Center in Mississauga, Canada (where Desus alleges his mysterious wife and kids live), and "top left" is Greater Toronto Area slang for "truthful" or "seriously". "Mans is marved", means "I'm hungry" in Toronto slang (credit to u/Fortehlulz33)
Trill Rizzuto, holy cow! - A reference to former Yankees player Phil Rizzuto who would later go on to be a commentator, where his trademark expression was "holy cow!"
Mister Soft Palms because all I do is count checks and jerk off - I don't know if this is a reference to anything except Desus bragging about his lifestyle
We got OJ, uh purple stuff, soda, and it's me! Sunny D!" - A reference to an old Sunny D commercial (, and a play on the fact that people likely used to called Desus by the nickname "D", so "it's me! Sunny D" would be like saying "it's me, Desus!". Also kind of ironic since Desus is not a particularly sunny person (cue Dark Desus).
David Yerp-man - A play on David Yurman, an expensive jewelry company, and NYC slang exclamation "yerp"
Desus-expensive, Desus-Red Bottoms, Desus-bloody shoes - A play on a lyric from fellow Bronx native Cardi B taken from her song "Bodak Yellow"
Smo-a-kim Noah - A play on NBA player Joaquim Noah who plays for the Knicks
Andrew Coooooool-nanan - A reference to serial killer (most notable for killing Gianni Versace) Andrew Cunanan
The Junior Energy God, come sit down 'pon me charger - Originally just the "Energy God" until Desus realized that that was fellow Jamaican Elephant Man's aliases. I thiiiink this is referring to the phrase "bring the same energy", the idea that if one is saying something behind someone's back, when confronted by the individual they should stick to their original statements. This alias started after the infamous Desus & Mero visit to the Breakfast Club, in which DJ Envy accosted the boys about a joke they made about his wife. Desus & Mero didn't punk out and therefore "brought the same energy". Someone tell me if I'm reaching here.
Call me PetCo cause I got your bitch-on-freeze - A play on words for the dog breed Bichon Frise
The Topic of Gossip in Syosset - Syosset is a town in Long Island, NY. it's real bougie and suburban so Desus is saying basically he's got reach and is known not just in the hood but in the wealthy burbs too (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Grandpa Joe, When you see Charlie you see me don't touch that golden ticket - A direct reference to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Grandpa Joe) and Desus's cats name (Charlie)
Dead Eye Desus (Mornin’ Sherrif) - Dead Eye Desus refers to the 2018 video game Red Dead Redemption 2. The game features a gameplay mechanic called "Dead Eye" that allows the player to slow time to achieve easy head shots and kills. The game is also set in the late 1800's, early 1900's in the old West, which is why Desus typically references a Sheriff after saying Dead Eye Desus. (credit to u/biggak)
"Mr. Shopping at StreetEasy with a bad breezy like I'm Yeezy, please believe me - Another one of Desus' tongue twisters, this one is in reference to shopping at StreetEasy, a NYC real estate website with an attractive woman like Kanye West might do
The Black Asiatic who will crack your back like an automatic craftmatic - Added in episode 54 after Desus' continuing gag about "big Black Asiatic men" (often referencing their penises). Here Desus is implying that sex with him (a Black Asiatic man) is very vigorous by saying he will change your posture like a Craftmatic mattress, which is a brand of mattress whose shape and orientation can be controlled electronically
Mr. La Marina in a mesh Merina with a fresh misdemeanor and a cold demeanor – This one is a doozy, but was adopted after Desus mentioned his frequent trips to La Marina (a bar on the water in Manhattan) in episodes released in the summer of 2016. A mesh Merina is a a mesh tank top (I think). The other two parts are self explanatory. Not sure how he always gets this one right without mixing up the words.
The Sheet-Mask Killer (No one could be iller) — ??
The Black Zach Morris of Port Morris — ??
The Human Jerry Curl (Follow the drip) — ??
Young KPI — ??
Your problematic bae – Desus occasionally says problematic things, but you still love him, hence him being your “bae”. He always ends with this one, followed by an exaggerated kissing sound.
After Desus's last aka he always gives some sort of problematic advice followed by explosions
Mero (u/THE_KID_MERO) is far less consistent with his aliases. Depending upon how smacked he is, he will often exclude or repeat some of his aliases. He also adds them far less frequently than Desus.
The Kid Mero - In a Hot 97 interview on April 13th 2017, Mero explained that this alias comes from the fact that his father and uncle wanted to name him "Romero", but his mother vetoed it and named him "Joel". His father and uncle continued to call him "Romero", which was shortened to "Mero" as a nickname
The Human Durag Flap – Mero’s original nickname, and a reference to how hood he is and his uncircumcised status, something that gets referenced very often (credit u/ZeddyG2 and u/chandlersokay)
Curve Gotti – A play on “Irv Gotti”, former boss of Murder, Inc. records
Donovan Mcdabb - A play on former NFL player Donovan Mcnabb, in reference to dabbing, which could have two meanings (smoking THC oil or the dance move created by the Migos)
Trizz Khalifa – A play on “Wiz Khalifa”, but substituting the first part of the name with the slang “Trizz”. Usually said in a fake patois, imitating Popcaan's cry of "Fuck Wiz Khalifa!" at a Mixpak event
SKKRRRT Loder – A play on “Kurt Loder” former host on MTV News and editor at Rolling Stone
James St. Fatdick, I'll Ghost on you shorty - Originated right around the premiere of season 4 of Starz hit show "Power", here referencing the main character James St. Patrick, whose street alias is "Ghost"
Tiger Backwoods — A reference to pro golfer Tiger Woods and Mero’s love for smoking backwoods
“I no fucking baby, I fucking man!” – A reference to the viral video that sent friend of the brand Pioladitingancia to fame
“Check the guest list again because my name is definitely on it, and no I’m not stepping to the side while you check! ” – Not so much a nickname but something Mero might have said back in the day when he was broke and had to lie about being on guest lists to get into clubs
CC Dab-bathia - A play on Yankees Starting Pitchers name, CC Sabathia (and close friend of the brand)
Getting this sh-money and this sh-moke — it's your boy Goldman Shm-achs - A variation of the phrase made popular by Bobby Shmurda and a reference to Goldman Sachs.
Da-da-da Dad of the year – A play on a lyric from ScHoolboy Qs song "Man of The Year" (credit u/ZeddyG2). Mero already has three Mero Jr’s and the bodega princess, and as far as we can tell is an awesome dad, thus earning such a title. Confirmed to be a ScHoolboy Q reference in episode 56
Been-Smacked Biyombo – A play on “Bismack Biyombo”, a professional basketball player on the Charlotte Hornets
Di-Yayo Maradona - Reference to Argentinean soccer legend Diego Maradona and slang for coke (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Dick-in-ya-bae Mutombo - A play on Dikembe Mutombo, former NBA player
David Trizz-Dale - A play on David Fizdale, Current New York Knicks Head Coach. This is normally followed by “BLOW BLOW TAKE THAT FOR DATA”
Barlos Santana - A play on famed guitarist Carlos Santana and Xanax bars
The Dominican Don Dada – Jamaican Patois slang (I believe) for “top pimp” or “big player”, and as we know Mero is of Dominican descent, hence “Dominican Don Dada”. The phrase "Jamaican Don Dada" is used by the character Lennox in the movie "Belly", which is a classic in hip hop culture (credit to u/a-1-since-day-1) He follows this up with "catch me at Locksmith throwing up on myself". Locksmith is a bar on 192nd & Broadway in Inwood, which is a REALLY Dominican NYC neighborhood (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Some variation of "swipe my card again, put the bag over it, there's definitely money on it! - A reference to a familiar experience for anyone who has been broke, in which you lie and act like it's the store's fault when your card gets declined
Romeo Xantos - A reference to famed Bachata artist and Xanax, Bachata being a dance and music style originating in the Dominican Republic. Also the added "Sooo xanny, lemme black out" is a play on Romeo's adlib "sooo nasty, lemme find out" (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Light-an-L Dutchie (Hello? Is it weed you're looking for?) - Another weed double entendre referencing Lionel Richie and his famous song "Hello"
Papa Sushi, The Dyckman Don - A reference to often-referenced Mamasushi, a fusion sushi restaurant on Dyckman Street in Manhattan
Tom Brazy, your girl got my balls deflated - A boastful play on the Deflategate controversy surrounding Tom Brady and the New England Patriots after the 2014-2015 AFL Championship game
Feel-da-ass Tyson (CONSENSUALLY WITH YOUR PERMISSION) – A play on “Neil DeGrasse Tyson”, a well known physicist
Lil’ Snoozie Vert- A play on the name Lil Uzi Vert. This is also in reference for when Mero actually ‘tapped out’ on Instagram Live
Fry-an-L Messi - A play on Lionel Messi, a famous Argentinian soccer player of Italian descent, and smoking an "L", slang for blunt
Joe Hookah, I dare you to smoke with me! - A reference to rapper Black Rob's song "I Dare You" that features Joe Hooker on the hook
Ben Barson (with the precision of a Swiss wristwatch) my hands are gifted – During the 2016 election cycle, famed neurosurgeon Ben Carson engaged in a brief campaign for the Republican nomination. Mero took to doing impressions of him, exaggerating Carson’s urban upbringing by saying he was “Ben Barson”, in which the “C” was replaced with a “B”, as a Blood gang member would. Unlike Desus, who almost never fumbles his nicknames, Mero has maybe said this one correctly one time
Xaniel Bedingfield - A play on Daniel Bedingfield followed by Mero playing "I Gotta Get Through This" a popular song by the artist Daniel Bedingfield with lyrics that are about Xanax (credit to u/KTTeal)
Some variation of “I’ll open your medicine cabinet and take all of your Benzos” – This is self-referential in two ways: 1. The earlier reference here is to when Mero admitted to Desus that he will unashamedly go through people’s medicine cabinets in order to snoop on their lives and 2. After the boat party story in which Mero got drunk and took some Xanax’s, he added “I’ll take all of your benzos” bit to express how much he enjoys the feeling Benzodiazepines create
The Xandman – This is a play on the musical artist “Scatman John” who was most known for his song “Scatman’s World”, the chorus of which Mero imitates with this name and the accompanying vocalization
Rico Sabroso – Spanish for “Rich Tasty”, but I’m not sure what the reference here is beyond that
Lucious Lyon-ass nigga (c’mon mayne) - A reference to Terrence Howard’s character Lucious Lyon on Empire. This is said in a shaky voice Terrence is known for
Baby Newport - I assume a reference to Newport brand cigarettes, stereotypically popular in urban areas
Niño Brown – A reference to the main character of the film “New Jack City”, in which Wesley Snipes plays a crack dealer named Nino Brown, but pronounced like the Spanish word for "kid", giving it some Latino flavor (credit to u/Okieant33)
The East Tremont Stevie B – East Tremont is a predominately Hispanic area of the Bronx, while Stevie B was a recording artist from the 80’s with some incredible Jheri Curls. Sometimes sings "I want to be the one your Titi is fucking" after
The Plantain Supernova in the Sky – A reference to the Oasis hit “Champagne Supernova”, but changed to reflect Mero’s Dominican heritage, which often uses plantains in its cuisine. Occasionally he will sing an extended version, which goes “One day you will find me, smoking weed on Tremont/in the Plantain Supernova in the sky”. How does he hit these melodies so perfectly every time?
I met Mike Francesca im never gon’ fail - A direct reference from when the Bodega Boys actually met Mike on the last episode on Desus & Mero on Viceland. In translation, this means after finally meeting with the iconic Sports Pope this makes him unstoppable. This is also a reference to Kanye West's song 'Ultralight Beam' where Chance the Rapper says "I met Kanye West, I'm never gonna fail" (credit to u/RemyDWD)
Barmelo Xanthony – An incredible play on the Bodega Boy’s favorite NBA player, Carmelo Xanthony, and Mero’s beloved Xanax’s. Mero almost always adds a reference to him relaxing since being released by the Houston Rockets. (credit to u/terminal-chillness) Most recently, Mero has changed his references to him making sound financial decisions and balancing his portfolio since the interview with Carmelo himself on Desus & Mero on Showtime
Some variation of “If you see me in Target approach me like a bear” – Originates from Mero’s love of getting really high and hanging out in Target. Being high sometimes makes him paranoid, so he doesn’t like people just running up on him. Desus suggested people “approach him diagonally, like you would a bear”. Mero interchanges “bear”, “Ursine Mammal”, and “Oso” (Spanish for “bear”) at random
Benzo the Clown - A problematic clown for kids that ruins birthday parties and not refunding your $50 deposit. Originated on Episode 96, Desus starts talking about rolling up to Mero Jr’s bar mitzvah smacked. (credit to u/outtaspite)
I sold fake Lean to your favorite SoundCloud rapper - Not sure this is a specific reference other than the fact that Lean is pretty much a guaranteed accessory for any SoundCloud rapper and Actavis discontinued their codeine/promethazine cough syrup in 2014 due to abuse, so a lot of people are drinking fake Lean.
"Llego el hijo de Tito y Fifa papi"/"The son of Tito and Fifa has arrived, papi – In later episodes, Mero began to include some Spanish phrases at the end of his list of aliases, usually beginning with this phrase and building off of it. When Mero does this he also says "Hassan tira me lo pita" which is slang for "Hassan drop me a beat". Mero is making pretend that he's a DJ on NY's Spanish Radio Station 97.9 La Mega. Mero from here goes on to talk all kinds of shit about how hard and gangster he is. (credit to u/bobbuddha and u/Okieant33)
Please correct me if you have ideas or see mistakes!
Discontinued aliases:
submitted by veeno__ to bodegaboys [link] [comments]

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Bobby Brown - BnF

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